In a month's time, I am as a compulsory element to my job, will attend a Family Violence Intervention course.

This is where, when deemed appropriate that we ask woman 4 questions

1) Do you feel unsafe in your home.?

2) Do you feel unsafe in your current relationship.?

3)Is there a partner from a previous relationship who is making you feel unsafe now.?

4) Have you been hit, kicked punched or otherwise hurt by someone within the past year.?

I am not actually feeling very confident about this. Its not something I have experienced, either in my childhood or my marriage, but the statistics make sad reading and its estimated that a woman may not reveal abuse, until asked 4-6 times if it is prevalent in their home.

I am hoping that this course will give me the information and confidence to not only ask these questions but to be able to act and refer if the answer is yes .

So please don't get offended when we ask, we will be as discreet as possible, and only woman on their own, without children over 2 will be asked.

I discovered recently on a totally different incident when helping my partner at his work that it is not mandatory to report any abuse, but why wouldn't you, especially with children. However DHB's and school it is.

Our workplace has processes in systems to make reporting easy and support available 

So maybe if we had asked or noticed more and reported, our beautiful Nia's and Moko's would still be alive today.

So maybe have a look at the questions again and if you have answered yes to any of them please ring the numbers below 

All of these agencies will listen and help you to say Its Not OK or seek help to leave an abusive relationship

Oranga Tamariki  0508 326 459

Womans Refuge 0800 733 843

Are You Ok 0800456 450

If you are in immediate danger phone 111